I'd Rather Burn Than Bloom

Starred review from May 15, 2023
In this potent debut, Rogers explores themes of grief and moving on from loss through the lens of a biracial teen. Screaming arguments were a constant in Albuquerque native Marisol Martin’s relationship with her Filipina immigrant mother. So when her mom dies suddenly in a car accident, Marisol feels guilty about the way things ended between them, and her reluctance to open up about her conflicted feelings pushes her further from her friends, brother, and white father. Impulsive decision-making in the form of excessive drinking, engaging in a dalliance with her best friend’s boyfriend, and punching said best friend in the face result in strained relationships, school suspension and, eventually, juvenile detention. It’s there that she meets magnetic Mexican American Elizabeth Parker, who helps Marisol accept her mother’s death and learn to forgive herself. Via dual timelines that trace Marisol’s life before her mother’s death and three months after, Rogers crafts a fast-paced narrative through Marisol’s powerful and poignant voice. Insights into family dynamics, changing friendships, and biracial identity make for realistically messy and enjoyable character growth that one can’t help but empathize with. Ages 15–up.

Starred review from May 15, 2023
In New Mexico, a grief-stricken family grapples with the sudden loss of their matriarch. Marisol Martin is a sophomore when her Filipina immigrant mom dies in a car accident after one of their many screaming fights--they were constantly, painfully at odds with one another. Marisol's final condescending question, "Why don't you understand anything?" reverberates in her guilty conscience; she believes the accident was her fault. Left with her emotionally unavailable White dad, a nonresponsive younger brother, and Filipina childhood best friends Yvonne and Tes, all of whom are unable to help her in her sadness, Marisol spirals. Despite never having been drunk or "even made out with a boy" before her mother's death, the vicissitudes of grief lead Marisol to drink vodka, sleep with Yvonne's boyfriend, and even punch Yvonne in the face. Suspended from school and sent to juvie, Marisol meets Mexican American Elizabeth, a clever, adventurous overachiever who breathes new possibility into her life. Readers who relish deep character development will appreciate Marisol's messy evolution toward self-forgiveness. Her confessional first-person narration often reads like a movie, and it teems with vivid insights about crushes, longings, friend breakups, and complicated family dynamics set against the burning backdrop of the Albuquerque desert. The representation of a Filipino experience in the United States is done with superlative skill, rendering this beautifully written debut a model for how to expertly weave culturally specific cues into a universal story. Heart-wrenching and heart-filled. (Fiction. 14-18)

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September 1, 2023
When Marisol Martin's mother, with whom she had a difficult relationship, dies in a car crash, Marisol and her family are plunged into grief they don't know how to begin to process. A chain of behaviors soon after lands the Albuquerque high school sophomore in juvie ("where they send you to take classes on a computer when you've been kicked out of your own school, either for a little while, or forever"). She begins to heal by opening up to new friends, including bonding over commonalities between her Filipino mother's culture and fellow students' Mexican American culture. This poignant coming-of-age story, told in alternating "then" and "now" segments, takes readers on a complicated and isolating journey of loss, with welcome moments of humor. It spotlights the intricacies of parent-child relationships, acknowledging that adults don't always have the answers. Marisol is likable albeit flawed, and her story is emotional and heart-wrenching. Gabi Kim Huesca

(Copyright 2023 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

January 1, 2024
When Marisol Martin's mother, with whom she had a difficult relationship, dies in a car crash, Marisol and her family are plunged into grief they don't know how to begin to process. A chain of behaviors soon after lands the Albuquerque high school sophomore in juvie ("where they send you to take classes on a computer when you've been kicked out of your own school, either for a little while, or forever"). She begins to heal by opening up to new friends, including bonding over commonalities between her Filipina mother's culture and fellow students' Mexican American culture. This poignant coming-of-age story, told in alternating "then" and "now" segments, takes readers on a complicated and isolating journey of loss, with welcome moments of humor. It spotlights the intricacies of parent-child relationships, acknowledging that adults don't always have the answers. Marisol is likable albeit flawed, and her story is emotional and heart-wrenching.

(Copyright 2024 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)